Season 05 Episode 34

An Out of Order Death: The Story of a Mother’s Broken Heart with Taylor Bethard — LISTEN HERE

This week on the Dirty Laundry Podcast we sit down with Taylor Bethard for a conversation that is as heartbreaking as it is courageous. Taylor shares the story of her daughter Esther, whose sudden passing after swallowing a water bead changed the course of her life forever. She begins by taking us back to that day, recalling the shock of hearing the news, and the pain of seeing her daughter.Taylor opens up about learning the cause of death and how she has carried that devastating reality forward as both a mother and an advocate.

In our conversation Taylor reflects on what it means to grieve as a parent while still showing up for her other children. She shares the ways her kids have processed Esther’s absence, the bittersweet duality of experiencing both grief and joy in everyday parenting, and how her understanding of parenthood has shifted since her loss. We talk about how friendships changed in the aftermath, what support felt helpful versus unintentionally hurtful, and what she means when she calls Esther’s passing “an out-of-order death.”

Taylor talks about creating a business rooted in healing and designed to help carry Esther Jo with her always. She describes what “both/and” means in the context of grief, how yoga has supported her physically and spiritually, and how she holds space for others in moments of both birth and loss. She reflects on the book It’s OK That You’re Not OK and how its words gave her language for her own journey.

The episode closes with tender reflections on what remembering Esther looks like today—both in small daily rhythms and in bigger, intentional ways. Taylor’s story is one of love carried forward, of advocacy born from heartbreak, and of choosing to honor her daughter by helping others navigate grief with honesty and care.